Soon, I will delete most of my gallery, leaving only ongoing trades and such (I still owe to the winners of the COBRA contest, I haven't forgotten). No, this isn't one of those "AND I WILL NEVER COME BACK" scenes, no worries.

The past 2-3 years haven't really been kind to me, especially these last months. Just weeks ago our flat was broken into, our laptop, guitars, games and stuff being stolen, and chances are close to 0 for the burglars to be caught. (Moral of the story: always backup your data! I lost all the collected data of the past 1.5 years. The ironic thing? I wanted to make a big backup just that weekend.)
But I didn't want to talk about that.

Why I feel the need to begin anew (besides having this strange habit for purging all of my internet presences from time to time)?
Because I can do better. There are several reasons why my art has been as it was all these years, one of them being that I was always prohibited from doing art, since it isn't really a well paying career (I was meant to become a doctor or a lawyer, figure that). That made me very insecure about my abilities, even despite being told by professionals that I have a good sense for compositions, and literally everyone in my family having an incredibly good sense for beauty and harmony and skilled hands.
So all these years I have been doing what I was told not to do, and it really showed, there has always been a sense of self-restriction in whatever I did. Yes, despite being an adult, and living away from my family and later on my own for over a decade now. Old wounds heal slowest because they are the deepest.

I feel the need to be "reborn", and the first step to that is to clear the table. I won't delete all these things from my PC of course, because that would mean I can't face my past. I can and I do. But the time has come to rise and shine, I mean to let go of all subconscious fears and just get it goin'

But enough of my rambling, let the purging begin!

WARNING: I'm an outspoken individual with strong opinions. This was originally written for my blog Rootless tree [link]

While fetish/erotic photographs can be quite the eyecandy, there's nothing more repulsing (at least in my eyes) than the distasteful kind (what I call vagina shots, or the male variant being penis shots), where you either get to see an erect penis (Ooooh, looky-looky, how big mine is!) or a spread vagina (anus optional), often without any other part of the body being visible.

Sometimes I just want to ask the model, whether the picture was meant as sexy, or as a christmas card for their gynecologist, because if the latter, I think they should stick to reindeers and christmas trees if they don't want to freak out poor guy. (Black hole jokes also come to mind.)
I'm curious whether the idea to post crappy pictures of themselves spread out on the sofa, in the middle of a room that hasn't been cleaned up in quite a while, stems from their own minds or from their surely loving boyfriend, who also assures them that they will look suuuper sexy lying hogtied on the kitchen table. All this without proper lighting, background or any other kind of preparation.

I'm sure that it can be quite the egoboost, all those guys telling you that you look gorgeus, while furiously wanking off, because no sane woman would let them close.

No, I don't mean to suggest that only professional models should be featured in erotic art (or that everybody should be a Miss Mosh though I certainly wouldn't mind that). My problem lies in the height of the standard one sets before him/herself, that being surprisingly low. If I wanted to feel like a gynecologist, I wouldn't visit a site that has "art" in its title.

Anything can make a photograph more appealing: sit on a nice armchair, wear a pair of elegant shoes, tie a colourful ribbon somewhere, use arresting lighting, or just strike a pose that hasn't been done to death. I've seen black and white pictures made before a white wall that had more thought in them than most VSs.

The human body is something beautiful, something to be celebrated, not just a piece of cheap meat. Though come to think of it, everything is worth as much for how much it is sold, and that characterizes those who settle for the least.

I was tagged by ~Naust187

1. Post these rules on journal entry if you are tagged.
2. Each person must post 10 things about themselves in their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 10 people and post their icons in the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send them a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

1. I don't drink warm milk. No cold milk either, at least not on its own.
2. My eyes are hazel, just like my father's.
3. The thing I was most proud about myself was that I can laugh at myself. Now it comes only second.
4. I speak Norwegian, though not really well.
5. My father taught me how to play chess when I was a kid.
6. My favourite number is 8.
7. Coming September I'll be starting my studies to become a historian.
8. I'm a bibliophile. I love books, to read them, to own them.
9. As soon as I will have more time, I want to learn how to bind books.
10. ~Naust187 got me into the Cobra fandom I've completely forgotten how much I loved the G. I. Joe show as a kid.

And now I tag:

Miss *Arahiriel and I are doing an animal alphabet, or better said, two versions of the same alphabet.
I will update the finished pieces in this journal entry so you all may see it.
The white bullet stands for her, the black for me.

The whole list is the following:
A: antelope [link] [link]
B: butterfly [link] [link]
C: chamaeleon [link] [link]
D: dragonfly [link] [link]
E: eagle [link]
F: frog [link]
G: goose [link]
H: hyena
I: iguana
J: jellyfish
K: koi
L: lion [link](check it out, she drew it for my birthday ) [link]
M: manta ray
N: nautilus
O: octopus [link]
P: peacock [link]
Q: quetzal
R: raccoon
S: scarab
T: tiger
U: unagi [link]
V: vulture
W: wolf
X: xantus
Y: yellowjacket
Z: zebra

I'm not sure which one will be the most difficult to make, but as she wrote in her journal, [link] the best thing in this adventure is that we know what we want to do, and thus are spared the disappointment when ending up with a half-brewn sketch.

And I hope that as soon as we are ready with this, we will begin a new challenge, mythical creatures for example.
Thank you, dear *Arahiriel for the chance of getting better!

And now back to drawing.

Now, now, I don't look and a lot of things happen...

I got tagged by

THE RULES ARE:
• You must post these rules.
• Each tagged person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
• You have to choose and tag 10 people and post their icons on the same journal.
• Go to their pages and tell them you butt tagged them!
• No tagbacks.

1. This is the first time in my life that I got tagged.
2. I often listen to Tim Burton's 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' while doing something like houseworks, drawing, reading.
3. I very often dream of running from something, and doing everything to survive.
4. One of my favourite books is 'Black Easter' from James Blish.
5. Got myself an In Extremo CD today (Hameln 2006).
6. I'm of Transylvanian origin.
7. I never knew that the colour of my eyes is called hazel. I always thought that this greenish-yellowish-brownish mix of colours looks like a dragon's.
8. I started drawing really late, when I was 16, but never thought myself to be good at it.
9. I always listen to music while I'm out in the city, this way I don't have to listen to people.
10. I seriously thought about changing my nickname to 'occult panda' (insider joke).

Now I tag …


About the print thing...

When I read the message from DevArt, that Roses has sold as a print, I was baffled. What? Why? How?

I never thought my art to be... well, appealing to people, because what I draw usually has more meaning than skill. So I'm... well, I think I'm happy.

Who ever you are, thank you. Really.